youmean

i had such high hopes

tight rope sleep walking

dreams that end with silly dancing and tug boats

i wandered around the cold house without pants on

no one was home

i was all alone

wishing i had less to do and more to say

the emptiness of the water jug only creates a stronger thirst

and i have no time to get back to my roots

my motives

my ambition

all this learning is weighing me down

when i need to fly up a bit higher

to accomplish all the plans that i have made



will there ever be a moment for breath?

shimmer.

the lights went down. i have become brave in the darkness. i have become a shadow. watch the curtains fall. and know that i too am like the rest. a vague description of another time and place. a notch in the sky.

acrobatics

i feel harsh within my bones. as if as if. i am just one walking along the tight-rope. without proper balance. and i know the route. there is after all only two to choose from. one is downtown death. the other is hijink hoaxes across. and i choose across cos i too am hoodwinked by its dangerous flair. and i will fall downtown too cos that is the only real way without any real escape. sometimes the safety net is there, but only during practice, and sometimes its not, like during the show. and people want to see the success, but its more interesting to watch failure. my stomache growls and i know the my legs are lacking in load-bearing and long-distance stamina. i know i will give this crowd some twisted dreams. but is it so wrong to want people too see you as your reflection appears to you in the mirror? an ugly rendition of something beautiful. i want them to see how i feel. the flat ass pancake covered in strawberry syrup. buttered eyes and chocolate chip soul. i melt under heat and deform under pressure. why would i want to hide that from the mass around? cos they too need some hope that i can make it across without harm. cos they too are uneasy at the sight of death. they would just stare and chatter and ooooohhhh. and i would be lying there giving them a topic. and my heart would be slowing its beat, if it hadn't sputtered out already, letting me watch as the lights surround in one last amazing spectacle of lights camera action.
(insert take here)

CUT! thats good for the day. wrap it up folks. we got what we needed here. we'll edit it later.

Ya queda menos...

Ya queda menos...
Originally uploaded by marmimuralla